CLICK HERE if you are having a problem viewing the photos on a mobile device
Ben Affleck is getting tons of attention for telling the New York Times that divorcing Jennifer Garner is “the biggest regret of my life.”
But the actor’s new interview with America’s “newspaper of record” is notable in a couple other ways. First, it shows that Affleck has absorbed Brad Pitt’s lesson in how a once beloved male star can rehabilitate his damaged reputation and launch a career comeback after being blamed for breaking up his family in a messy, high-profile divorce.
The strategy is for the male star to give a couple key interviews, especially to the New York Times. In these chats, the actor opens up about his struggles with alcohol or other substances, admits his arrogance, toxic masculinity or other faults, and comes across as genuinely humble and earnest about doing better. This strategy helped Pitt overcome his PR battle against estranged wife Angelina Jolie, win back the respect of fans and of Hollywood and earn his long-sought Academy Award.
As the New York Times said, Affleck, 47, is “working like a madman to get his career back on track.” The former “Batman” star has four movies coming out this year, including “The Way Back,” a sports drama in which he plays a basketball coach in the grips of alcoholism.
But Affleck’s comeback faces some additional obstacles, especially with female fans, the Times added. He’s the “guy who broke (Jennifer) Garner’s heart.” Affleck shares three children with Garner. He also was implicated in a #MeToo-era transgression: an accusation surfaced of him groping a talk-show host in his younger days. In the Times interview, Affleck admitted he acted inappropriately and said, “I sincerely apologize.”
But in terms of sincerity, Affleck, like Pitt, may come across as most relatable when he is talking to the Times reporter about his problems with alcohol and his struggles to get sober.
Incidentally, both Affleck and Pitt say they owe their sobriety to the same A-lister: Bradley Cooper. On the awards circuit for “Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood,” Pitt credited Cooper with helping him to get sober, while Affleck mentioned to the Times that Cooper, along with Robert Downey Jr., has “been very supportive.”
It’s likely that Affleck’s descriptions of why he became dependent on alcohol and the risk of relapse should resonate with many less famous people who have been in similar situations.
For example, Affleck explained how a “basic discomfort” in life has always driven him to compulsive behavior and to self-medicate with drinking. It is well known in addiction treatment circles that people who suffer from undiagnosed depression or anxiety commonly reach for alcohol or drugs to calm their nerves or relieve them of emotional pain.
Affleck described it this way: “People with compulsive behavior, and I am one, have this kind of basic discomfort all the time that they’re trying to make go away.”
“You’re trying to make yourself feel better with eating or drinking or sex or gambling or shopping or whatever,” Affleck continued. “But that ends up making your life worse. Then you do more of it to make that discomfort go away. Then the real pain starts. It becomes a vicious cycle you can’t break. That’s at least what happened to me.”
Affleck actually said he drank normally “for a long time” but that he began to drink “more and more” as his marriage began to fall apart. The increased drinking, in turn, created more problems in his marriage and brought shame and a “hideous feeling of low self-worth and self-loathing,” Affleck said.
As for relapse, Affleck said it also brings more shame and disappointment. Affleck first went to rehab in 2001 and 2017, then publicly fell off the wagon in August 2018, when Garner was photographed by the tabloids driving him to a treatment facility in Malibu.
After Affleck went public this past fall with news that he had enjoyed a year of continuous sobriety, he publicly relapsed again. TMZ published photographs of him, appearing to be falling-down-drunk while leaving a Hollywood Halloween party and then turning up at a casino to play some cards. The next day, Affleck told TMZ, “It happens. It was a slip. But I’m not going to let it derail me.”
It is also well-known in addiction treatment circles that relapse is very common. In fact, a self-described therapist, who works as a substance abuse counselor, wrote in the comments section of Affleck’s Times interview: “On average, substances abusers relapse nine times, yes, nine times is the average, before they get sober.”
Affleck told the New York Times, “Relapse is embarrassing, obviously. I wish it didn’t happen. I really wish it wasn’t on the internet for my kids to see. Jen and I did our best to address it and be honest.”
Time will tell whether Affleck’s New York Times interview will help him get his career back on track, as it did with Pitt.
When Pitt talked to the Times in September, he revealed how he “spent a year and a half” in Alcoholic Anonymous, where he was part of an all-male recovery group that helped him learn to better process his feelings and be more authentic with himself and others.
Hundreds of people shared their mostly positive reactions to Pitt’s interview on the Times site. In one popular comment, a reader praised him for opening up about his struggles and said he came across as “a really good guy.”
“Kudos to him for getting sober and for taking the time to dig deep into himself and figure things out,” the reader wrote. “It’s not easy for anyone and certainly not a thing most hollywood zillionaires think too much about.”
Affleck’s interview also won him praise, though it was more guarded, with one person saying, “I cannot ignore the destruction and pain he left in his wake and the woman who had to clean up after him every step of the way.”
But another reader said she appreciated his description of the “basic discomfort” that led to his drinking. The reader said her ex-husband also had “that discomfort that never went away.” She wrote, “I respect Affleck taking accountability, which my now-ex never did.”
Another reader wrote, “It takes courage for people to really look at themselves with honesty and critical introspection, even that much more so with the world watching. I applaud Ben Affleck for his candor and his ongoing efforts to become the person he wants to be. The past can’t be undone, but the future is still his.”
