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Cue the horns, drums and chanting — “Survivor” is back. And Jeff Probst wastes no time in telling us so.
He then tries to explain the theme, which we’re still puzzled over. The divisions — David vs. Goliath — aren’t based on strength. They’re based on those who have been classic underdogs in life vs. those who’ve always taken advantage of their assets and positions.
Angelina thinks her tribe, the Goliaths, are buff, hot and smart, and she actually feels sorry for the David tribe.
Nick, the redneck lawyer, says he’s definitely a David. He grew up in a trailer park, dirt poor, and he had to fight for everything he’s got, which is an education and a law degree.
John the professional wrestler, says he’s always been a Goliath. He tends to talk about himself in the third person, which we find annoying.
Reward challenge
To test the theme, which is take advantage of any advantage offered, the Goliath squad picks the players they consider the weakest man and woman from the Davids: Lyrsa and Christian. Then they choose their strongest Goliaths: Alison and John.
The Davids, on the other hand, pick the pairs’ paths, which offer three choices that test balance, agility and puzzle making. They decide Alison and John must tackle the harder physical challenges and a 15-cube puzzle. The Davids’ team is given the easier courses and an 8-piece slide puzzle.
The Davids reach the puzzles only a little ahead of the Goliaths, but Christian and Lyrsa whip through their slide puzzle in record time. Turns out Christian has experience writing slide puzzle algorithms (he’s a robotics scientist). So score one — and shelter-building supplies — for the Davids.
The Goliath tribe members arrive at their camp and Dan regales his teammates with stories about his experiences on the SWAT force. Mostly he talks about how much weight he put on as a rookie with half-price McDonald’s and free food at other places. So then he worked really hard to trim down, and the women agree he’s fine.
Dan is immediately smitten with Kara and there’s a lot of flirting going on. It looks like Dan is way more into her than she is to him, but Dan isn’t picking up on the signals.
At Camp David, Pat, the construction manager, is barking orders on how to build the shelter. His bossiness is slightly annoying, but what’s worse is his coarse language and off-color jokes. “Once you’ve seen the crack, you’ll never go back.” “I’m sweating like a pregnant nun at confessional.”
Christian points out, correctly, that the others are putting up with him because the shelter is coming together.
At Camp Goliath, things aren’t going as well. There are a lot of bosses, and they all have theories on how to build the shelter. Meanwhile, storm clouds are pretty much the only thing building. Natalie is disgusted by all of them and she tries to take charge. That particularly irritates Natalia, the industrial engineer, who announces that Natalie has put a target on her back.
At Camp David, people are starting to make alliances: Jessica and Bi; Carl and Davie; Lyrsa and Elizabeth. That last connection surprises both of them. Lyrsa says Elizabeth is a cowgirl and she’s a lesbian punk rocker, but hey, they work.
Another obvious alliance pairing is Christian and Gabby, who is a technical writer and calls herself a nerd whisperer. She works with geeks and nerds all the time.
John, over in the Goliath camp, spends what feels like 10 minutes listing all his wrestling names, which include the perplexing “George Bushy of Tushy” and “Ab-raham Lincoln.”
While Natalia complains about Natalie to the other women, Mike starts looking for an idol. A few others head out to do the same, leaving the remaining ones to talk about whom to vote out first. Mike is targeted, for looking for an idol and for not being poor. Natalia thinks Natalie needs to go. Natalie warns Mike he’s in trouble with the tribe.
The Davids’ shelter is pretty good, and they spend the next day making it even better. Meanwhile, Nick makes friends with fellow Kentuckian, Elizabeth. He wants to come up with names for all the alliances, but he needs to think about it first.
It’s much worse for the Goliaths, who can’t seem to concentrate on building the shelter because by this time, they’re all out there looking for the hidden idols. John says it’s built into their DNA.
Dan is the one who finds the idol, sharing it with “the prettiest girls on the island,” Kara and Natalia. The idol makes him feel bulletproof.
At Camp David, Davie catches an octopus. He’s a blerd, he says — a black nerd. So he’s pretty stoked at his success. As the rain continues, everyone is cold and Jessica is the first to break down. She feels horrible, because she wants to be the person people can depend on and lean on. She talks about having to support her mom when she was in a bad relationship.
Bi tells her she was in a bad relationship where the guy beat her every day and she would end up in the hospital every month. Jessica’s mom was lucky to have Jessica, she says.
Nick doesn’t feel comfortable opening up, but he finally says that his mom was a drug addict and overdosed three years ago. The entire David tribe is crying now. Lyrsa says the rain brought good things, because it caused them to open up to each other.
Immunity challenge
The first contest for immunity is going to be played in a torrential downpour. It starts with an obstacle course; then one person from each tribe must dig under a big log. Once through, they take a machete and chop a rope that lowers ladders. The team that comes in second in that part is penalized: Instead of chopping, they have to untie knots to drop the ladders.
The whole tribe has to climb the ladders and use a pole to cross from one platform to another and down a cargo net. Finally, one person serves as caller while the others move pieces on a giant puzzle to arrange blocks in order, one to 25.
The Goliaths take a very early lead, but the Davids catch up. It ends up close, but the Goliaths finish first.
Pat says losing feels bad, and that the rain is a morale buster. But it also brought them all together inside their shelter, with one heart. Unfortunately, they’re going to lose an artery at Tribal Council.
If Lyrsa has her way, Nick needs to be bypassed, but Nick is spared when Pat injures his back on the boat ride back to Camp David. He’s in a world of hurt after the boat slammed into a wave on rough seas. His tribe huddles under a palm tree, worried, while a medical crew tends to Pat. They get even more worried when Probst comes jogging onto the scene.
Pat is hurting so badly he can only speak in gasps, but when Dr. Joe says he’s going to need to be evacuated, he begs them to let him stay in the game. But Dr. Joe says he has to go.
Everyone says goodbye; Gabby thinks she probably misjudged Pat; and Jeff gives them some good news — no Tribal Council and a flint will be waiting for them back at camp.
Next time: The Natalie-Natalia war escalates, Lyrsa learns her name is coming up in discussions, and there’s a new nerd in charge.
